When I was younger a social worker asked what I would do with three wishes. I though that was such an interesting problem and after making sure there were no traps I said I wished for absolute immortality and the "entire basin of human knowledge". At the time I had no use for my third wish. With Immortality and all obtained Knowledge so far I saw various paths for my future, I could take a front row seat to reality like the God Emperor in War hammer 30,000 or I could take a implicit roles in reality like The Alchemists traditionally have. I could take turns doing both play styles depending on how the human instrument was being played at the time. I instinctively knew life was a journey and anything else I could wish for would likely interfere with that journey.
Since that conversation I have learned that without compression and delete functionality immortality can be a curse. I have also learned that access to the entire basin of human knowledge without purpose is also a curse. One needs a vector, a direction and way of getting there, for their life to have meaning. At the time I defined my wishes I was in a cage I could peer out of, everything was possible, now in my adult years outside the cage everything is possible yet I can't decide what to do.
One can look at the universe as a sublime object and imagine they have control over it, but that is an exercise similar to masturbating, entertaining and even healthy in small doses. But masturbation is not meaning maxing it is a meaning short circuit, a glitch, a hack, a bug in the system. Meaning needs autonomy, mastery, and purpose. Sex is supposed to be a signal that meaning is being produced.
I have some questions I am trying to answer,
- How do I identify what I am thinking about?
- How am I supposed to direct my attention?
- How do I decide what I am supposed to read?
- What am I supposed to take away from what I read?