Do you enjoy scitzo posting, cause I love scitzo posting,
God is an organizing principal, in this scitzo post I have a conversation IFS(Internally Family Systems) style in the hope of finding one.
I have recently rediscovered an internal rage I have towards the world I live in. The realization that I am surrounded by very few people and many animals in human bodies. I steal this human analogy from Dune, specifically dealing with the Gom Jabbar. The Gom Jabbar is used in a test to tell weather someone is Human or Animal. The distinction between these two creatures being a Human is intelligent enough to stay inside a trap, Gom Jabbar, in the hope that they will be able to catch the entity that set it. Paul Atreides was tested by experiencing unimaginable pain while staying inside the Gom Jabbar. Paul Atreides passes this test though I bet we can contrive many more.
The Bene Gesserit school, of which conducted the Gom Jabbar test on Paul Atreides, was directed by those who saw the need of a thread of continuity in human affairs. They saw there could be no such continuity without separating human stock from animal stock — for breeding purposes. The natural human’s an animal without logic. The majority of humanity operates within ideological cages.
It makes sense that the majority of "Humans" function as Animals. Our societies and civilisations have and will always function via hierarchy which by its very nature means there is an elite class at the top. Now there is Churn in this elite, characters like James Taggart in Atlas Shrugged articulate this very well being labelled elite but acting as an animal. The issue here is Animals can have human children, and humans can have animal children. Dagny Taggart, James' sister is a true human, James Taggart is an animal, their father appears to be a human though one that was likely degenerating. I have no doubt that my parents currently function as animals, I no longer want to be an animal but continue to act like one.
......
Recently I have been trying to develop my alter ego. I feel like my alter ego is the personality of a past life I can see through the eye of a needle. I can change my perspective looking through the eye of this needle but only so much light can get through. This fucker has infinite expectations and produces fascinating insights from time to time but they have no way of operating within the world for me on my behalf. The key problem this fucker and I have is relating to and working with others. The thing is I was born, and likely would have died, an animal if Fucker had never found me. Fucker and I are both wannabe stoics. We have been working on internalising the core tenet of Stoicisim as codified in the Serenity Prayer,
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.
So God, we need to have a conversation. How am I supposed to shape the world? What shape do you want the world in? What is this Ultimate Question that the AI in The Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe was talking about? What are your thoughts on Human Instrumentality? What are your values? I want to want, tell me what to want. My life lacks meaning you piece of shit, speak to me you son of a bitch, give me a quest.
SILENCE
What was that, who said that, well we are all one mind having separate experiences right. Ah... I just need to learn to listen. Listen to what exactly? The parasitic memes that make up my "personality" don't have an organizing principal. I don't have a purpose that can make me go door to door knocking preaching some gospel. Hmmm... what is my gospel. I can conflicted inside, I don't know what shape the human experience should have.
FEEL YOUR HEGELIAN GUIDE RAILS
Ah there you are. What path did you put me on. I am not even supposed to be here.
Build a pack.
Oh my subconscious from years ago, let me find their notes. I can't find them, they are on paper. But are you saying that me and my alter ego are going to have a compression algorithm ran across us in order to create a single entity?
Yes
Alright what other wisdom do ya got for me right now?
“For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulse and precariously stacked carbon code memory. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.” -- Netflix Altered Carbon
Ah this realization is similar what made Paul Atreides go mad, what was that quote from Dune Messiah?
He felt the pressure of mass-unconscious, that burgeoning sweep of humankind across his universe. They rushed upon him with a force like a gigantic tidal bore. He sensed the vast migrations at work in human affairs: eddies, currents, gene flows. No dams of abstinence, no seizures of impotence nor maledictions could stop it. Muad’dib’s Jihad was less than an eye-blink in this larger movement. The Bene Gesserit swimming in this tide, that corporate entity trading in genes, was trapped in the torrent as he was. Visions of a falling moon must be measured against other legends, other visions in a universe where even the seemingly eternal stars waned, flickered, died . . .
Hmm... Paul Atreidies had the same approach that the People, not animals, in Atlas Shrugged have when he leaves his society and assumes the identity of The Preacher. Defoo, or as Curtis Yarvin my spiritual Father puts it Detachment. Let's just assume I am already there, I want to want.
“The personal, as every one’s so fucking fond of saying, is political. So if some idiot politician, some power player, tries to execute policies that harm you or those you care about, TAKE IT PERSONALLY. Get angry. The Machinery of Justice will not serve you here—it is slow and cold, and it is theirs, hardware and soft. Only the little people suffer at the hands of Justice; the creatures of power slide out from under with a wink and a grin. If you want justice, you will have to claw it from them. Make it PERSONAL. Do as much damage as you can. GET YOUR MESSAGE ACROSS. That way you stand a far better chance of being taken seriously next time. Of being considered dangerous. And make no mistake about this: being taken seriously, being considered dangerous marks the difference, the ONLY difference in their eyes, between players and little people. Players they will make deals with. Little people they liquidate. And time and again they cream your liquidation, your displacement, your torture and brutal execution with the ultimate insult that it’s just business, it’s politics, it’s the way of the world, it’s a tough life and that IT’S NOTHING PERSONAL. Well, fuck them. Make it personal." ---- Quellcrist Falconer
The message I am getting here is MAKE IT PERSONAL, GET YOUR MESSAGE ACROSS, you you must become dangerous to be taken seriously. These are some values I can internalize. I need to be like Ender in Ender's Game, the sum of pure violence and pure love. I need to have love for my Victims but still have the Paul Atreides audacity for Jihad.
“Is it a wolf I hear,
Howling his lonely communion
With the unpiloted stars,
Or merely the self importance and servitude
In the bark of a dog?
How many millenia did it take,
Twisting and torturing
The pride from the one
To make a tool,
The other?
And how do we measure the distance from spirit to spirit?
And who do we find to blame?”
Ah heuristics so I can take shit personally. Measuring the distance from spirit to spirit. That can be used in the Egregore manager. Who can I blame for stopping me from getting what I wanted. Ah desire, wants, what were those?
To Lead, Respect, Power, Knowledge, Cultivated Consciousness, Connections, Love, Human Memeome Project, Answers to Human Instrumentality, interrogation of the human experience, IF THERE ARE NO ALIENS WE BUILD THEM
“Peace is an illusion. And no matter how tranquil the world seems, peace doesn’t last long. Peace is a struggle against our very nature. A skin we stretch over the bone, muscle, and sinew of our own innate savagery.” — Takeshi Kovacs
What is my war, what is my jihad. If there is nothing I am willing to die for am I really even alive? We are in a war over the shape of the human experience. VITALITY the value I admire most but lack in my character and person.
Look in the mirror you delusional child and fix the contradictions in your personality and how you operate within the world.
Ah operate within the world, God, I want you to give my an all encompassing heuristic, a heuristic that can embody your being.
LIVE IMMEDIATELY
That's not specific enough, I don't know how to live, that's why we are having this conversation.
REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE
Remember, what are you talking about I am discovering who I am..... Paul Atreides does not discover who they are they REMEMBER who they are. Since the spice allows individuals, humans not animals, to negotiate with the future it means that people can also negotiate with the past. There is a thread not just through the human genome but through what might be considered a fractal multiverse of structure and purpose. A fractal multiverse of structure and purpose. This means that Paul Atreides had lived many lives and Dune is just the story of how the forces that be finally consumed him. I have this same power to negotiate with the future. Now what timeline are we on? Wait can I negotiate with future lives. Those lives won't exist unless I can live this one correctly.
LIVE IMEDIATELY
Ya I know, I am trying to figure out what you mean by that.
“The essence of control is to remain hidden from view, is it not?”
― Richard K. Morgan, Altered Carbon
What do you mean by that?
Law 3. Conceal Your Intentions Law 4. Always Say Less Than Necessary Law 14. Pose as a Friend, Work as a Spy Law 17. Keep Others in Suspended Terror: Cultivate an Air of Unpredictability Law 18. Do Not Build Fortresses to Protect Yourself – Isolation is Dangerous Law 21. Play a Sucker to Catch a Sucker – Appear Dumber Than Your Mark
Oh it's all about wearing the appropriate mask. What was that quote in Children of Dune?
Ghanima, watching the play of emotions across her grandmother's face, marveled that Jessica had let down her controls. With catching movements of their heads remarkably synchronized, both turned, eyes met, and they stared deeply, probingly at each other. Thoughts without spoken words passed between them. Jessica: I wish you to see my fear. Ghanima: Now I know you love me. It was a swift moment of utter trust. Jessica said: "When your father was but a boy, I brought a Reverend Mother to Caladan to test him." Ghanima nodded. The memory of it was extremely vivid. "We Bene Gesserits were already cautious to make sure that the children we raised were human and not animal. One cannot always tell by exterior appearances." "It's the way you were trained," Ghanima said, and the memory flooded into her mind: that old Bene Gesserit, Gaius Helen Mohiam. She'd come to Castle Caladan with her poisoned gom jabbar and her box of burning pain. Paul's hand (Ghanima's own hand in the shared memory) screamed with the agony of that box while the old woman talked calmly of immediate death if the hand were withdrawn from the pain. And there had been no doubt of the death in that needle held ready against the child's neck while the aged voice droned its rationale: "You've heard of animals chewing off a leg to escape a trap. There's an animal kind of trick. A human would remain in the trap, endure the pain, feigning death that he might kill the trapper and remove a threat to his kind." Ghanima shook her head against the remembered pain. The burning! The burning! Paul had imagined his skin curling black on that agonized hand within the box, flesh crisping and dropping away until only charred bones remained. And it had been a trick -- the hand unharmed. But sweat stood out on Ghanima's forehead at the memory. "Of course you remember this in a way that I cannot," Jessica said. For a moment, memory-driven, Ghanima saw her grandmother in a different light: what this woman might do out of the driving necessities of that early conditioning in the Bene Gesserit schools! It raised new questions about Jessica's return to Arrakis. "It would be stupid to repeat such a test on you or your brother," Jessica said. "You already know the way it went. I must assume you are human, that you will not misuse your inherited powers." "But you don't make that assumption at all," Ghanima said. Jessica blinked, realized that the barriers had been creeping back in place, dropped them once more. She asked: "Will you believe my love for you?" "Yes." Ghanima raised a hand as Jessica started to speak. "But that love wouldn't stop you from destroying us. Oh, I know the reasoning: 'Better the animal-human die than it re-create itself.' And that's especially true if the animal-human bears the name Atreides." "You at least are human," Jessica blurted. "I trust my instinct on this." Ghanima saw the truth in this, said: "But you're not sure of Leto." "I'm not." "Abomination?" Jessica could only nod. Ghanima said: "Not yet, at least. We both know the danger of it, though. We can see the way of it in Alia." Jessica cupped her hands over her eyes, thought: Even love can't protect us from unwanted facts. And she knew then that she still loved her daughter, crying out silently against fate: Alia! Oh, Alia! I am sorry for my part in your destruction. Ghanima cleared her throat loudly. Jessica lowered her hands, thought: I may mourn my poor daughter, but there are other necessities now. She said: "So you've recognized what happened to Alia." "Leto and I watched it happen. We were powerless to prevent it, although we discussed many possibilities." "You're sure that your brother is free of this curse?" "I'm sure." The quiet assurance in that statement could not be denied. Jessica found herself accepting it. Then: "How is it you've escaped?" Ghanima explained the theory upon which she and Leto had settled, that their avoiding of the spice trance while Alia entered it often made the difference.
In this quote Lady Jessica takes off her Mask to talk to her grand daughter but it keeps creeping back on. There is also talk about how humans can turn back into animals which may be what happened to Dagny Taggart's father in Atlas Shrugged. That is what I am missing, a mask, my quest it to build a mask, a mask that can negotiate with and wield power.